It feels like a million years since I've seen her...
To be honest, they were pretty horrific, and as numb as I am to the details at this point, there is no use in going into it. In short, Lacy was "pulled over" by a police impersonator just feet from her home. He kidnapped and killed her.
I really struggled through that spring semester and summer--so much so that I took the fall semester off from college and moved to Minnesota to live with my sister and her family for a few months. (I hope they know what an important time that was for me--thank you, Sarah!). Staying in CO was making it difficult for me to heal--it was too hard to be surrounded by constant reminders of Lacy. But I am happy to say that I did heal! Slowly but surely, I became more and more myself again...and God brought me even closer to Him than I started!
Just the other day, I was reading an incredible and inspring, yet tragic story. (It is worth reading for yourself: http://www.kdvr.com/news/kdvr-liver-transplant-death-txt,0,3369112.story?hpt=T2 ).
The premise of the story is that a man, named Ryan, dies performing an act of heroic generousity--and what really touched me is the way his family reacted to his death. Ryan's Father shared the sad news with the Ryan's brother, saying:
Ryan's gone, but we still serve a good God.
Nothing could be more true. Like I said earlier, bad things do happen...and they will continue to happen in each of our lives--but we still serve a good God!
Through my tears, through my heartache and my anxiety and my fear after Lacy's death, I never forgot that my God is a good God. Even when I was too emotionally and physically exhausted to pray and even when I couldn't hold back my tears, I reminded myself that I was just sad, not mad--that I was just tired, not without hope. My good God was faithful to me and never let me go.
He showed me, in new ways, how beautiful and priceless life is;
how I shouldn't take anything for granted;
how I should live each moment of my life to the fullest;
how what happens on this earth is nothing compared to what He has waiting for us in the next;
how He LOVES each and every one of His beloved children (even those who do very bad things--please pray for the man who killed Lacy) more than we can ever, ever imagine!
Life is not always easy. And life does not always make sense. And there is pain and suffering and evil in our world, but nothing is greater than God, and He is always enough to get us through even the toughest times.This lesson has been valuable in my life many times since Lacy's death...and it is very comforting. This is not to say that I am not a total cry baby at times (I am...ask my husband...), but behind the tears of saddness is a strong conviction that God is in control...and that He will get me through it...and that there is a purpose to everything that happens in my life.
And there I find peace.
Happy Birthday, Lacy!