The Light

Do you ever have those moments in life where all of a sudden--even for just a few minutes-- everything in your world makes sense?


Time stands still.


You see things so clearly.


You realize what is truly important.


You are thankful--very thankful.


You are there living in the moment, but you feel like you are also watching it from outside.


You are filled with peace.


You acknowledge the true meaning of your life, meaning far greater than the here and now.


You feel so happy you could cry...and sometimes you do.



You are completely content.


You wish the feeling would last forever.


You want to share it with those you love most.


I had one of those moments last night. I don't expect these moments of consolation--and try not to rely on them for peace and trust in God's plan--but I do love them and am thankful for them. They can be some of my deepest moments of prayer [and they most often happen right after I receive the Eucharist at church].


Last night, Luke and I were playing a board game by candlelight [not for lack of power--we were "on" a date], drinking red wine, and listening to some quality tunes. It was during this particular song that my world stood still:



I had never really heard the song before, so later I went back and listened to it again and found the lyrics very touching and appropriate. In fact, it was the perfect song for that night and for what I had been feeling at that moment.



It reminded me of Luke. It reminded me how thankful I am that God gave him to me--as my best friend, my companion, one who cares so much for me and my soul, one who truly wants to lead me to the LIGHT [and the way and the truth]...it reminded how insignificant everything else is. It's so easy to get caught up in, and worry about, the things of this world, and sometimes I lose sight of what really matters. Especially right after such a big change for me, I think God was just letting me know that I am right where I am meant to be. [Thank you, God :)]


Enjoy the song. BTW, Sarah Bareilles' whole cd [Kaleidoscope Heart] is a lot of fun!

What could be more stylish than bright yellow license plates?

...How about bright yellow license plates that support a good cause??

This year on the anniversary of Roe v Wade--the decision to legalize abortion in the US--Luke and I were disappointed not to be able to participate in the March for Life in DC. The March is an annual gathering of hundreds of thousands [over 400,000 this year!] of people making a peaceful stance in support of ALL life at our nation's capital. We had planned to attend, but as the date approached...and the super cold weather reports came in...we decided it just wasn't a good idea for Augustine to be outside all day.

So we brainstormed other ways we could act on our prolife convictions and decided to get "Choose Life" license plates. [I would also like to start making a regluar committment to pray outside an abortion clinic, especially now that I won't be working--maybe once a month to start. Btw, have you read unPlanned yet? I picked it up at Barnes and Noble the other day and finished it in about 24 hours! The book highlighted the positive influence you can have as a peaceful prayer warrior, which I found very encouraging. If anyone wants to borrow it, I can mail it to YOU!].

Anyway, back to the plates...

We had them personalized. Mine "say" LOVES LIFE.

Luke's say CORBAN, which means all for God.

Needless-to-say, I don't think I will ever lose my car in a parking lot again...

Big News: Happy Housewife

It is official--I am retiring this week!!


Well, retiring from working outside of the home, that is [or for at least the next several years].


Over Christmas break, after a lot of thought and prayer, Luke and I decided that we should start moving in the direction of having me home full-time. [It has always been our long-term goal, but my job is great, and it made sense for me to continue working until now]. Not wanting to leave the family I work for high and dry or rush them into choosing a new nanny, I put in my "2-4 month notice" at the beginning of January...and now, just one short month later, my and Luke's dream of having me home has become a reality.


As excited as I have been about this news, I didn't want to make it public until it was official. And two days ago, I found out that two days from now would be my last day...so that's official!


While Luke and I are both very happy, the initial change will be emotional. It is never easy to leave a family who I have worked for, and I am sure my last day will have its share of tears. Yet, it is comforting that we will continue to be in touch [Augustine will surely miss his playtime with the kiddos].


I also have a bit of anxiety about the financial aspect of staying at home. It's intimidating to cut back to just one income [definitely more in theory than in practice, as I wasn't exactly the bread winner--still, it is natural to wonder how badly the missing income will be missed!?]. Luke is great, though, and he has assured me that everything will be fine financially and that he is more than happy to find more work if needed.


But enough with the bitter part, let's get to the sweet part! And, boy, is it SWEET!! My heart is overflowing with joy at the thought of being home everyday. I know a part-time job, in which I get to take my baby with me, may not seem like a big deal, but it was still work. It's hard to explain, but I felt a little weighed down knowing that two days of my week were committed to work [work that I cared about and wanted to do well] and that aspects of our day and Augustine's schedule would be compromised accordingly. Although it was a great job and I could.not.have asked for a better set-up, 15 hours away from home at work is 15 hours away from home at work. Being a full-time Mom has always been a desire close to my heart, and I feel so blessed that I get to begin this new journey now.

Keeping active/productive/not bored around the house won't be a problem, as I am also Luke's "secretary," handling much of the administrative tasks of his coaching business. Though I have always held this role, Luke is loving the repriorizing of my time lately, requesting yesterday that coffee and kisses be delivered to his office upstairs. I am also looking forward to spending more time in the kitchen, as trying new recipes has become a new hobby. There is a good chance, however, that "Wednesday night frozen pizza night" [initiated due to me working all day on Wednesdays] will stay in effect, as one night out of the kitchen a week can't be a bad thing, right?


My other job: Working on registrations for LittleKicks last fall.

Augustine and I will enjoy more time for play dates and walks with the neighbor boys, crafty moms meeting once a month, play group when Augustine doesn't nap through it, and maybe we'll even pick up a few new activities, like story time at the library.

Augustine and his buddy!

MOSTLY, I am looking forward to continuing this journey as Augustine's mama! That is the role that I love the most!

He Did It!

Just wanted to share the good news that last night, on the eve of turning 13 months old, Augustine slept through the night!! (Not the 6 hour "through the night" that baby books tout...we are talking 10 hours!).

His night sleep is usually 12 hours, but that includes [at least] two nursings--so 10 hours straight is a good start! He went to sleep around 7 pm as usual but woke up at 5 am for the day! Needless-to-say, Augustine is well rested, but Luke and I are ttiiirreeedd! That (10 hours) is the longest he has EVER gone without nursing!

Let's keep up the good work, Little Man! I love you!!

My Little Mischief Maker!

When I shower in the morning ,everyday when I get the chance, Augustine has free reign of his room, my [and Luke's] room, the hallway connecting the two...and our bathroom. For the most part, I don't mind letting him roam free for 10 minutes--within shouting distance of me--while I take a quick shower. After all, he has little opportunity to get into trouble in the bedrooms or hallway, and if I ever want to shower, it's my only option [aside from putting him in his crib, which would NOT go over well].

But our bathroom isn't exactly babyproof! Shutting the door isn't an option because I need to know that I could hear him if he really needed me...but keeping him out of trouble in there is also tough. I often find myself making silly faces at him through the glass, singing songs to him...and saying, "No, no" whenever he heads toward any number of hazards, including the toilet. Sometimes he heeds my warnings...and other times he ignores me, as I watch [defenslessly] from behind the shower door.

Take yesterday morning, for example. When I got into the shower, Augustine was happily playing with toys in his room. Five minutes later, however, he had made his way into my bathroom [despite my best efforts to keep him out, our bathroom has become one of his favorite rooms in the house]. As I shampood my hair, I watched my little rebel get into the cabinet under our sink and pull out the nail polish remover--perfect, I thought, a call to poison control is not on my list of things to do today. Then I watched as he maneuvered, polish remover in hand, toward the toilet bowl [seat up].

"No, no," I said, and he amicably backed away from the toilet. Good boy!

He got distracted by the scale for a bit, then back under the sink to see what else he could find! Meanwhile, I finished washing my hair, shaved my legs, lost track of the little bugger...and looked up just in time to see him pulling up on the toilet. "No, n-..." Splash! There goes my nail polish remover --nice.

I quickly rinsed my hair and got out to put an end to the maddness. I glanced in the toilet on my way out of the bathroom [knowing full well that the nail polish remover would remain in the toilet until my hubby got home to fish it out], and what do you think I saw?

A GIANT bobby pin was my first thought--my mind was playing games with me. So I looked a little closer. My glasses! What a sneaky [and funny] little boy I have!

Lacy Jo

In memory of my great friend, Lacy Jo, who passed away eight years ago today, I wanted to share a prayer that she wrote:

Dear Lord,

First, I want to thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I love you so much Lord. Thank you for blessing me with such a wonderful family. They have been here for me and shown me how to love you, how to have faith and how to be a Christian.

I pray that I would be nice, considerate and treat them the way you would want me to treat them.

I pray that you would be number one in my life, that no person or thing would come before you. I want to be satisfied by your love and grace and not long for other things but you.

Sometimes I don't always know you will in situations in my life but I pray that I would understand that there is always a purpose and you aren't trying to make my life difficult.

I pray that when challenges come up in my life, that I would look to you for your guidance, love and support.

I pray that you would give me comfort knowing that I am going to heaven. It is okay. Nothing matters that much in life except for you.

I pray that you would use me to be "God in the flesh." I want to be a light to other people. I don't want to go unnoticed. Give me strength and courage to be able to share your word to my friends and others that I come in contact with in my life.

I love you.

Amen.

Love,

Lacy

I really love that prayer. I feel like it embodies the childlike faith that each of us should have, but at the same time it addresses some very deep concepts. It is of great comfort knowing that Lacy had a sense of peace concerning death--that she acknowledged the insignificance of this life compared to what we will experience with God in the next.

I also love how she wanted to be a light to others. In an email to me, sent just one week before her death, Lacy wrote this:

so, i was thinking... if you are interested... maybe we could go to some sort of church college group thingy... i have been needing someone to go with! if you are interested let me know... i don't know what is out here but i feel the need to find some nice christian type of people our age and what not!

I think we all have that "need"--that longing for God and for fellowship with others. As Saint Augustine said, "Our hearts were made for you, O Lord, and they remain restless until they rest in You."

And although we never got the chance to explore a "church college group thingy" together, you can tell Lacy was hearing and attentive to the whispers of God in her life, and that makes me smile.

Lacy's story is a hard one to hear. But it is also an important one. There is much to be learned--both from the story and from Lacy's Mom. Wendy and James (Jason's--the man who killed Lacy--brother) have worked together to share this story with thousands of people over the past several years. To listen to the story, you can follow this link to the 2 Hearts 4 Lacy page...and then in the videos section, there is Part 1 and Part 2 of "Both Sides: Lacy's Story."

On this anniversary of Lacy death, I feel compelled to ask you to please be cautious when being pulled over. Educate yourself on ways to ensure that you are not being pulled over by an impersonator.

Finally, please pray for Lacy, Jason (who has been sentenced to life in prison), and for the continued healing of both of their family and friends.

Heard Around the House

I have seen this topic floating around a few other blogs, and I heard something today that I thought I would share.

Most people report about things their kids say. From Augustine, I hear lots of adorable "Mamas" and "Dadas"--and recently, a piggy squeling whenever he doesn't get his way (it's pretty cute acutally).

But today Luke said something ridiculous and funny.

Our conversation went something like this:

Luke: "I mixed Coke in with my coffee today."
me: "Yuck, that sounds gross..."
Luke: "Yeah, it wasn't good. I thought I would like it, but I was thinking coffee and beer."
Me: "Really? Coffee and beer? Why would you do that?"
Luke: "You know, an upper and a downer. It's not bad."
Me: "You've done that before?"
Luke: "Yeah, in college a few times. My brother used to do it. He would eat his cereal with beer if he could!"
Me: [laughter]

What a silly husband [and brother-in-law] I have! And, for the record, Luke would not eat his cereal with beer if he could!

One of my new year's resolutions is to laugh more this year. I am off to a good start! And by "laugh more," I really mean, "be more joyful!"